My New Role in My Life of Cancer
Ever since Feb. 20, 2019, I have been trying to figure out my new role. Being given a terminal diagnosis is not only emotionally draining, but it has challenged me to recalibrate how I look at life. This “Forced” perspective is slowing becoming a gift of sorts. Many of us live aimless and careless, spending piles of energy and focus on what does not matter. But this diagnosis has made me re-think so much. One of the principle purposes (in my opinion after a ton of prayer) of God allowing me to get this cancer is to more deeply align myself with His voice and His perspective. For example, the best “Life” happens when the individual human soul is in deep connection and communication with God. Then, that soul can experience the love of God, the peace of God and the joy of God. When that human is experiencing these gifts of God, they are most likely to give those away in increasing ways to the people around them.
A month ago, Amy and I were talking to our longtime friend, Carol Young, on the phone. We have been friends with Carol since 1985 when I was a Freshman. Her husband Kenny was one of my mentoring pastors who trained me in ministry. Needless to say, Carol is an amazing woman of faith. When she speaks, it is clearly and often the Lord’s voice coming through. She has deeply impacted me so many times with her kind and encouraging words. A week or so after that phone call, she sent us a letter. The letter has been so helpful, I have read it over and over. It seemed like I ought to share a big excerpt of the letter in this blog because of its impact on me. I am certain that many of her words will affect you too. After you read the excerpt, read my comments afterward. Then we can all sit quietly and try to listen for the Lord’s voice.
John and Amy,
It was a pleasure to hear your voices today. I've been mulling over how "John Drage unhurried" might play out since our conversation, so I'll send a few thoughts. If there is something here that you haven't thought of already, maybe it will stimulate you to love and good deeds. It doesn't seem that unhurried means a lot of physical rest and "chillin" for now. It seems to equate to staying quiet/pausing enough to sense the call of the Spirit to accomplish things of value to God that don't easily make up a to-do list.
Things that are meaningful to you, but carry no deadline to spur you to accomplish them.
unhurried, listening, thorough prayer -
communing - grieving, casting all on Jesus, cleansing/confessing, celebrating assurance of His truths
praying for long-term "big ideas": America: the Church, revival, racial reconciliation, political leadership, morality; salvation/sanctification of key country and world leaders; Honduras (and other places where you have a personal connection); persecuted Christians; closed countries;
family: all your descendants (even future), Amy, parents and siblings
relationships
reconnect if there is someone you miss in your life;
who in your family needs more time with you?
"stop doing" list - is there a place your time/energy is going that God is ready for you to be done with?
Things that fit well with your spiritual gifts
You are an encourager, a cheerleader. As you listen to the Spirit, who does He bring to your attention for a touch of encouragement? It might be in person; it might be a phone call; it might be written; a follow up to a conversation: "I've been praying about your situation and here are the thoughts that have come to me as I've prayed for you." It might be a small gesture: some homegrown tomatoes delivered, a bouquet of flowers, an offer of help/repair work that will lighten a burden. God may even be gracious to let you know the fruit of your efforts!
You are a visionary. You have a wide audience. What vision casting would God have you do: vision for abiding/unhurried in the Lord? For walking through dark scary places with faith intact? For reaching children and youth with the gospel? For saving children and youth from deception and harm?
Things that will serve your family beyond your earthly life:
help Amy identify and make connections with people who can support her in the cancer journey (and beyond) -
a counselor
record/write messages to Amy and your kids (parents?) to be read (hopefully by you!) on milestone moments: birth of first child/grandchild, wedding day, a milestone birthday. As you pray through these, I believe the Holy Spirit will give insight to craft your messages to be significant to the individual and their circumstances even years ahead of time.
make plans with Amy for property management if you become unable to keep up with repairs, etc.
help your parents talk about their end-of-life plans and wishes (if they haven't communicated them) Your siblings will appreciate you initiating a difficult subject with your parents
Know you are both in my prayers.
Carol
Carol just modeled what she is encouraging me to do. Listen to Jesus’ voice inside me and obey his leading to love, encourage, and help others. Because she loves me and Amy, God gave her special insight into our lives and then she went to the trouble to write those thoughts out. Her encouragements are helpful and simple. Some of her ideas were already on my “To do” list of new found responsibilities. But her stating them in writing to me is so affirming and helpful. Simply put- Carol Young helped me with her letter. Reminders and affirmations. I am so thankful.
Like I said, most of our next steps after reading this blog is to go sit quietly and invite the voice of Jesus, The Shepherd, to speak. John chapter 10 describes in sweet detail of how Jesus is always speaking to and leading his people. Carol reminds me with a sweet nudge to LISTEN. I am so happy she did. I will keep on re-reading her letter. Thanks Carol!