Medical Update Nov. 15, 2019
This was another MRI day. We did MRI’s at the end of May, the middle of July, the middle of September and now the middle of November. I thought the doctors would see nothing and we would fly home happy to have seen nothing on the screen. That was not how today played out. The oncologist and Edmond (our friend and trusty research nurse) had shocking words for us. They showed us a small white image on the screen that they called a “spot.” We do not know what the “spot” is, except that it is 9mm across. It could be inflammation or it could be the beginning of a tumor. Before we all jump to the conclusion that the cancer is back, let me share with you what they said. I asked the doctor on a scale of 1-10 how worried she was about this? (10 being very worried). She said in a very confident voice that she was a 4. It could be bad, but her better guess was that it was inflammation. Edmond said he was a 3 based on other cases he had seen.
Our regular neuro oncologist, Dr. Rebecca Harrison, was on vacation. She is amazing and we really like her. It just so happened that the doctor that was covering for her is in charge of the Immunotherapy Clinical Trial I am doing. She has studied lots and lots of MRI’s for Glioblastoma patients. She has seen inflammation spots happen with other patients. The plan is to go back to Houston for another MRI on December 13 rather than in two months, to see if it changes in size. If it grows, it is probably a new tumor growing. If it is the same size or smaller it is probably inflammation. Our prayer and prayer request is that it vanishes. Please join us in asking the Lord to make it go away.
The spot is located around the edge of where the original tumor was removed February 19, 2019. It is on the outside part of that cavity near the edge of my skull. It seems like it could be a good place to have it surgically removed if it turns out to be bad. We DO NOT want to jump to negative conclusions just yet. The doctor and the nurse urged us to patiently wait out this next month and see. Their “4” answer combined with their sober tones were clear, but so was their uncertainty. We will need to trust God for the next month as we WAIT.
One of the most basic Bible verses of all time is Proverbs 3:5-6. I would strongly suggest it is compulsory for all Christians to memorize and meditate on.
Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your path.
Even though this is basic, it is hardly practiced by most of us. Let me make a couple comments about this as it relates to Amy and I. I imagine this scripture relates to you, too.
God’s biggest desire for our lives is for us to trust Him. This is faith. It is believing!
We trust with our heart. The heart is the center of a human. The heart is the place from where love and passion and desire germinate and flow.
The human is strongly prone to trust itself. This is what the Bible calls “leaning on your own understanding.” (By the way, my best definition for pride is “being in love with your own ideas.” This is self-trust. Anything we ultimately trust and worship that is not God is what we call an idol. American worship of self-trust or self-reliance is so, so prevalent. It is our idolatry. We must come to God in humility and trust Him.)
Acknowledging the power, love and sovereignty of God is the wisest and safest path for the human.
I am not intending to be overly simple here, but rather to give a starting point for meditating on this, top 10 of all time, verse. It is so sweet, so helpful and so repeatable. I learned a song to this verse more than 30 years ago and have sung it 1000s of times on prayer walks and in bed through the years.
We are to trust Him regardless of what the outcomes are. We are to trust Him in the middle of the fire and storm. We are to ruthlessly trust Him when we do not understand. I am glad the scripture does not imply this should be easy. Of course it is not easy. But our clear instruction is to honestly wrestle with God as we learn to trust Him. Amy and I have begun a new match of sorts today. The wrestling match to trust God began way back in February. But probably it was long before that. It is the big story of God in all our lives. Will we trust ourselves and our own understanding, or will we throw ourselves on the mercy and love of God regardless of what He decides to do.
I shared in an earlier blog that my dog trusted me to clean her ears when they were infected. As an ignorant dog, she had no idea what I was doing squirting in-ear cleaner into the infection which had to be so painful. But she let me do it. The Lord has His plans and ways that we are ignorant of. He bids us to ruthlessly trust Him and not ourselves.
Besides the little spot on the MRI, I am doing well. I am strong, I have my mind and I am healthy.
Would you please join Amy and I as we seek to be Proverbs 3:5-6 kind of people? Pray also that this spot goes away by December 13 (this is the newly scheduled MRI date).
Let me throw 2 more quick concepts about faith / trust your way.
Concept #1: Faith always has an object. Just like love. Faith without an object is trusting something empty. Our faith is IN and ON the powerful Jesus.
Concept #2: Faith and trust are trusting FOR something. We ultimately trust Him FOR our salvation, that we will go to Heaven. But we also trust Him for the future, we trust Him to provide for us and we trust him to protect us. Safety is one of the basic human needs. We are safe with God no matter what. Whether we live or whether we perish. We trust Him for everything.
I have one last scripture I sense Jesus nudging me to mention. Romans 8:32 is so good.
He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all,
how will he not also graciously give us all things.
I am not saying God is our genie and He grants every wish we have. I am saying that if we can trust Him for sending Jesus the Son to die for us then we can trust Him for everything else.
Join us this next month as we ruthlessly trust Him.