One Year Left to Live?

If you knew you only had one year left to live, what would you do?

I begin thinking about all kinds of questions. What is most important? Should I spend my time having all the fun I can have? Should I close-up and be with only my family and no others, like I might feel like doing? Should I quit my job and travel? Should I spend all of my time with people? Should I search for what is most important and do that? Should I spend most of my time communing with the Lord, seeking to know Him more intimately?

Two weeks ago I was driving our van from Missouri to Colorado where John spent one week directing a leadership training program for college students, which we have done for the past 30 years. He was driving our truck, separately. So, I had 13 hours to think, with few distractions. And this was where my mind went...

What should we do? What would you do? I guess there is no “perfect” answer. Should we quit our jobs, which would mean quitting what we have loved and where we have felt the Lord wants us to be while using our gifts? We can sometimes be prone to overwork because we love our jobs so much. I realize that God made us to work but He also made us for so much more, to love and serve and play and enjoy!

Before we left we planted a garden, for the purpose of seeing new life and producing healthy tasty foods, and a peaceful place to sit. How much time should I spend there?

Would it be most important for me to spend my time getting to know the Lord better or sharing Jesus with as many people as possible while I still am here on earth with that mission or spend as much time as possible with our family or….

Maybe my answer is a combination of the three. I know I don’t need to stress-out or worry myself by over-thinking it, but I do really want to be wise about how I spend my time and how we spend John’s time.

Our time together now has a limit, though all our lives already have a limit. I didn’t feel it before. Now it is our reality!

A few weeks have passed since these questions were flooding over me. I have been talking with the Lord and John and trying to listen to what He has to say to me.

1. I feel Him nudging me to be at home more and serve John more. There will be a day when he won’t be here to serve and love on.

2. I feel compelled to still be with people, ones who encourage me and ones who don’t know Jesus yet. Our unique jobs allow us to work side by side at times and build into people’s lives, which we will do.

3. I want to spend lots of time together with our adult children! Three of them live in our city, two of whom are married, and the 4th one can get home pretty quickly at any moment. And, they all like each other and want to spend fun family time together with us and each other. That’s pretty cool and a huge blessing!

This list, along with a few other things, is what I have concluded so far, in response to some of my questioning. I think our Lord just wants us to seek Him and be with Him when we have questions and troubles and decisions to make. I have recently built a table out of pallet wood and I love to meet with the Lord while sitting on it. It sits outside in my peaceful backyard driveway. I’m excited each morning to meet with the Lord there to share with Him my joys and sorrows and tears and life. I hope you have a place and time where you can enjoy the Lord and ponder this short life too!