There is a God and You are Not Him
One of the great challenges with my cancer has been trying to plan for how long I have left to live. Glioblastoma is so aggressive and so unpredictable. Statistically the median survival time is about 18 months from diagnosis. Even though I am doing very well right now, that seems to be no promise with this monster.
The doctors are very hesitant to say much about life expectancy. That is both encouraging and precarious at the same time. They are hopeful as my present response is good. They like my energy, they like my attitude, they like the low side effects.
But I still want to plan. It sounds foolish, doesn’t it? Especially since only God knows the future.
There is a God and none of us are him. Part of the human struggle is to think oneself as immortal, to believe we are strong and powerful. We act so self reliant! I wonder if we do this to merely keep up the illusion that we are in control.
To admit we are not in control can be very scary.
Personally, I have not arrived at the conclusion that there is a God based on the fear that there might not be a God. I believe there is a God for hundreds of reasons. Evidentially, design, details, beauty, the historicity of Jesus, the concept of love. Objective moral values led me to this conclusion.
Most of us appeal to some kind of Creator God. For me it is a trust in a good, loving Creator, who helps me calm down and be at peace in the midst of my terminal diagnosis. But many who appeal to this nice Creator God also seem to miss the point. They chase after all kinds of little gods. We call those idols. We look to these little gods to offer us a little control and security in the uncertain times. Self awareness and honesty must come into play to demolish these false gods. They are really no gods at all, just made-up fantasies to make us feel safer in an unsure world.
“Those who know their God will trust in you, for you oh Lord have never forsaken those who seek you.”
I do know this about my God: He does whatever He wants! He reports to no one. He always does what is right. He never fails. He is wildly untamable! This means he does not always grant the wishes of his people. But he does care for them tenderly and fatherly! It is precisely this powerful God that I have come to trust. Am I uncertain and a little doubtful? Yes, of course! Only because I have never done this before. But I rest secure in his reality and his love for me displayed in Jesus dying for me.
This faith of mine is a humble faith. Not a demanding human thing that is merely grabbing for control. We know we cannot pull the puppet strings of this beautiful, powerful God. He is the puppet master. When we think about this for very long, we realize this is a very good thing. We are not able to run the affairs of the universe. Most of us cannot even control our tempers or control our eating or control our spending. So it is good we are not leading the cosmos.
This humility and self awareness ought to lead us to a greater thirst and trust of him. I define pride as being in love with your own ideas. Humility is therefore simply agreeing with God. He has shown us many things about how we ought to live. He has shown us what is important and what is not. Unfortunately, we often chase after things that will not satisfy nor make us feel safe. Illusions of grandeur we call them. Self security, self protection, self importance, self promotion are a few of these illusions.
The beginning of the journey for most is to come to this obvious conclusion, there is a God and you are not him. The next step is to bow before him and worship through trusting him with our entire life. Including what happens when we die.
My thoughts are going in this direction nearly everyday as I face this cancer. I endeavor to live one day at a time! That is the best strategy words can describe. I want to enjoy him and every person around me to the max. I want to bring people to a greater awareness of him. One of the many humility scriptures I am trying to emulate is this.
He must increase, I must decrease!
I want to encourage you to listen to my recent sermon on humility. Columbiarock.com. sermon archives. Faithful Strangers sermon. Send me a text with your thoughts as well. 573-999-1776