Weddings are Emotional

Amy and I attended a wedding just recently. It affected us the way to the core. As we drove out of the parking lot, Amy asked me, “how did that wedding affect you?” I wondered how to answer. We both had tears in our eyes during the ceremony but did not know the other had been torn-up. I told her it was super sweet and very emotional.

Amy and I are less than a month away from our 30th anniversary. It has been a great run! We are crazy for each other and have learned how to be great lovers and great partners. One of our practices while attending weddings all these years has been to ponder our vows as we watch the couple saying their vows. In my case I am performing the wedding and talking to the ones pledging their promises. As a pastor, I love doing weddings. Most of the time the couple is dear to me. I love them a bit like they are my kids. Getting the closest vantage point and leading them in their promises has been a highlight in my career. I wonder if it is one of the most intimate moments in all of life? When a young man and a young woman make gigantic promises it is so exciting. It is mysterious. At some level they know what is going on and on another level they have no idea. They have not done much life yet. But they are “in it”!

Back to the wedding we just attended. The bride and groom exchanged traditional vows which were beautiful and memorable. “I take you. ….. to be my lawfully wedded wife….” And “to have and to hold” are some of the richest lines ever said to another human. Amy and I have tried to remember and re-commit our vows at every wedding we attend. When I perform a wedding, I try to catch her eye in the audience at this point, if I can. We have our little secret eyes for each other. But this wedding was deeper than usual for us. I guess the reason might be obvious. With me being given a terminal diagnosis, Amy and I are staring death and separation in the face. When we think of these gigantic promises of “being there” for each other, it sounds much different today. We do not know how much longer I get on this earth. Maybe I get 2 years, maybe I get 10. After the traditional vows, the groom got out a piece of paper and read his new bride some personal words. He did amazing! I was impressed. The basics of his communication to her was, “I Choose You.” When we are doing good, I choose you! When we are having a hard time, I choose you! When we are against the odds, I choose you! His repeated use of that phrase got all of our attention.

“I CHOOSE YOU!”

Amy and I both were deeply touched by this “choosing” each other phrase. Remember the little phrase, “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, until death do us part”? Amy and I are closer to that than we ever thought. At this point in our story, I know two things very clearly. Amy has constantly chosen me! She has been by my side through thick and thin. We are deep lovers and deep partners. I know also that I chose her 30 years ago and every day since then. We are each other’s counselor and helper and lover and…..

Getting to attend this wedding just 2 months into my diagnosis was another gift from the Lord, a gift of nostalgia, a gift of remembering, a gift to cherish, a gift to celebrate, a gift to keep making every day the best it can be. At one point in the ceremony, when I was sitting forward, Amy rubbed my back so tenderly. It was probably her little unconscious way to say “I choose you again”.

All I know is that I got a good deal from the Lord in regard to being married to Amy Drage. Let me conclude with a verse I always share with new husbands.

He who finds a wife, finds what is good

and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22